1. I would encourage you to read more about biological determinism. It cannot be reduced to "everything's decided by your genes."

2. I would encourage you to read more about social constructionism. It cannot be reduced to "nothing is decided by your genes."

3. The best integrative argument about the relative balance between biology and society regarding sex/gender I've seen is by Anne Fausto-Sterling. She's a professor emerita of Biology at Brown University. Start with her book Sex/Gender: Biology in a Social World. Then read her book Sexing the Body.