1 min readJan 29, 2020
- How do you know “most gay men are cisgender”? Have you asked them? Or are you simply imposing a gender identity on others without their permission because it serves your agenda or helps you construct your own gender identity?
- The words “calling gay men out” do not appear in my piece. As with SO many other commenters, you’re importing your own agenda and attributing it to me. Projection much?
- Gender identity is only one component of gender, which is why the piece explores a number of different aspects of the term “cisgender.” Gender identity is only one component of the consensus definition of the term “cisgender.” There are many, MANY gay men who do not identify as men or have a very complicated relationship with both that gender identity and its associated gender role. If you have an open-ended, non-judgemental conversation with them, you’d learn that.
- (Hint: open-ended, non-judgemental conversations do not usually begin with imposing an identity on others because it serves your personal or political agenda).
- Yes, gender identity and sexual orientation are different “vectors.” That doesn’t mean they’re not intertwined. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t make assumptions about people’s sexual orientations based on their gender presentation. And all those stereotypes of masculine lesbians and effeminate gay men wouldn’t persist. And sexual positions and sex-role preferences wouldn’t be gender-coded. Pretending sexual orientation and gender don’t have anything to do with each other is just silly.
