No, I am arguing that gay men expect there to be a concordance between a person's gender presentation and their sexual anatomy and, because that sexual anatomy is at the core of gay sexual culture, when that concordance isn't present, the 'discordant' person is not seen as a desirable romantic/sexual partner. None of this reflects an "irrational fear or hatred" of transgender people, thus it's not "transphobia." It reflects the centrality of certain anatomical parts in gay male sexual culture. You may not like or agree with that centrality but it's pretty inarguable. If any "transphobia" exists here (and I'd argue it's more "cis-centrism") it's in the expectation of concordance between gender presentation and sexual anatomy. But that expectation is MUCH more widely held than the gay male community/culture.