Thanks for this helpful and very civil response (which is a rarity on Medium and elsewhere these days)!

Thanks, also for the correction on the El Dorado Fire. That was my 'translation' error. My source had it right and I messed it up when I summarized it in my piece.

Yes, agree with you on the complicity of women in gender reveal parties. I suspect that's because they resemble so many other pregnancy/childbirth celebrations (like baby showers) and many are more egalitarian and benign than those that result in death/injury. But, looking at several YouTube video compilations, the vigorous re-centering of men was really astonishing. Once you start looking for it, it's everywhere.

Another theory: it's possible pregnant women feel some sympathy for what the father/sperm donor is going through during pregnancy. Pregnancy and childbirth are just not shared experiences. And women are socialized to be the parties that mend any rift in a relationship.

But we also know there are lots of women who 'coat tail' on patriarchy, accepting a reduced status in their relationships in exchange for the status they enjoy by association with patriarchal men. White Evangelical Chiristian women are the first example that comes tomind.