This is why I entirely sidestep this issue in my piece. Though, I do not agree with the assertion that preference implies choice or some kind of lack of innateness. BTW I do have a preferred name: I ask my students to call me Dr. or Professor Murphy, and friends call me Mike. (The only person who calls me Michael is my mother). Referring to others using their preferred from of address — gendered or not — just seems like basic human decency.